Toughest Toddler Years: The Importance of Emotional Competence

Terrible twos are not called “terrible” for nothing. The term was coined from the idea that toddlers, usually at 2 to 3 years old, have an outburst of emotions at this stage that would usually cause frequent temper tantrums in varying degrees. Child development experts and child psychologists say that the toughest toddler years would start when the child turns two and would usually last until they are three years old. During this phase in their toddler years, the child wants to be independent and at the same time needs support; this is what makes them emotionally sensitive. Children easily get frustrated when they don’t get things their way, this often leads to emotional outbursts and tantrums. As a parent of a toddler, be prepared to periodically lose your patience with your child, but always remain as calm as you can. Try to divert your child’s attention if he or she starts to become agitated. It’s very important that you provide support and explanation as to why they are feeling such emotions. Children can better manage their emotions when adults support them and explain things to them.

Raising emotionally intelligent children is necessary, especially with the alarming number of children getting anxiety and depression. Emotional intelligence is a combination of self-awareness and empathy. Our emotions enable us to connect with others and comprehend how a circumstance affects how we feel. This then aids in our decision-making on whether we want to be in a certain situation, depending on the circumstance. When children feel intense emotions, it’s critical for adults to encourage them to calm down so they can better express their feelings in meaningful conversation. When kids lack the language to describe their sentiments, label and describe each emotion for them. Children can better manage their emotions when adults support them and explain things to them. 

Change in habits can also be done to assist your child during their toughest toddler years. Regulate the tone of your voice, avoid shouting as much as you can, keep calm and provide the emotional support that they need as they try to understand the different emotions that they feel. Research conducted by psychology students also found that reading actually affects the child’s emotional competence. A person’s ability to identify, understand, and constructively react to their own and others’ emotions is referred to as emotional competence (or emotional intelligence), and it is just as important as cognitive and social skills. Children who have a high level of emotional competence are better at controlling their emotions and are better at socialising with their peers. 

Toughest Toddler Years: Literature-Based Approach to Help Children Understand Emotions

Reading books affects your child’s mental health and it is important in raising happy, emotionally and intellectually intelligent children. Books offer an “escape” to the child from the stresses of life, and it’s a great way to unwind after a long day at school. Children’s emotional competence is increased through reading and talking about books with an emotional element to them. Choosing the right book is also very important. It’s ideal that you choose books that the child can easily relate to, like a super personalised storybook. 

A study by the National Literacy Trust found that personalised books that make the child the  HERO of the story are empowering. Personalisation can benefit both the overall learning process and in terms of specific aspects of literacy, such as speaking language, and acquiring and recalling words. 

When toddlers begin school, their daily emotional challenges in relating with their peers, environment, and educators become more complex compared to when they were still just staying at home. Part of your pre-school preparation should also include simple home-based practices that ready the child for the emotional challenges of the big world. There are so many things that you can do at home to give your child the emotional support they need. Building a reading habit is one. When children read for pleasure, they are exposed to different emotions, and different people, and are better at identifying different emotions. Knowledge and understanding of aspects of emotional competence provide the foundation for emotional communication and social relationships with a long-term effect on motivational, psychological, occupational, and private development (Saarni, 1999; Izard et al., 2001; Trentacosta et al., 2006). Reading with your child provides the opportunity for communication. 

Toddlerhood is a crucial time in the life of your child. During this stage, you have the chance to shape their behaviours, empower them to regulate their emotions- basically equip them for life! It is your role to do it right for them.